


we'll make it ours

by flutteringsoo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Bottom Do Kyungsoo | D.O, Canon Compliant, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Morning Sex, Top Kim Jongin | Kai, light angst??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-12 20:10:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19952131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flutteringsoo/pseuds/flutteringsoo
Summary: It feels weird to wake up without a familiar presence beside him. He continues with his routine as usual but Kyungsoo feels…… a little lonely when he goes about his days.





	we'll make it ours

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Bottom!Soo Fic Fest 2019
> 
> #Prompt R1 KS49
> 
> Honestly...I don't know what I wrote. The prompt is simple and I chose it because I thought of making it into a simple one-shot fluff but somehow it gets deeper than that. (I blame myself for writing it in the wee hours - you know the time when everything is peaceful and quiet and you get so sentimental lol) 
> 
> Not sure if I will cringe myself out when I read this again later x)
> 
> This is my first time joining this fest and I am a bit nervous showing this to you~ Anyway, I hope all of you enjoy this.
> 
> Thank you to the mods for their wonderful job for this fest!!

It feels weird to wake up without a familiar presence beside him. 

No sound of snoring, no bigger arms smacking his face accidentally when he is sleeping, no nightly cuddle, no one for him to cook.

The other side of the bed feels colder without Jongin and when Kyungsoo goes outside to make breakfast for him, the house feels quieter than usual. He continues with his routine as usual but Kyungsoo feels…… a little lonely when he goes about his days. 

He understands separation is normal, that it is a part of life. They are away because of works and Kyungsoo was undeniably happy when Jongin told him he soon will be off to London and Italy for fashion events and filming. He knows how these opportunities are something Jongin is always looking forward to and with that, he just restrained himself from sulking and sent Jongin away with an open heart.

Jongin was there to support him when he was away filming until late at night and so he thinks he should just get over it, knowing he will be away just for a while.

Kyungsoo knows it is not something so deep to be sad about. It’s just a job. But then maybe it’s because of himself. That he can’t bear the thought of being away from Jongin. Jongin jokingly says he is clingy and Kyungsoo thinks, maybe Jongin is right.

  
It's also the first time Jongin has been away for almost a month and Kyungsoo feels a little different without his presence. Usually, he knows at the end of the day, however late Jongin will come home from spending his time with friends or practicing himself hard in the practice room, he will come home and occupy the space beside him in the bed.

When Jongin messaged him saying he will be back today Kyungsoo can’t help but feels giddy inside. He rereads the message over and over again and his heart lurches as he sends a reply to the younger back.

_“I’ve already landed, Hyung. Can’t wait to see you,”_

_“Me too. See you soon at home,”_

The last time he saw him was when he helped Jongin to pack his stuff and searched for his missing passport in their house - three hours before his flight. That should have gone to their manager for him to keep, not trusting the idols to keep it themselves but Jongin somehow forgot to do so. So that happened. The misplaced and the frustration ensued afterward after an hour of searching for it. 

Luckily, Kyungsoo managed to find it under the piles of Jongin’s dress shirts in the laundry. Jongin kissed him in a rush as their manager had waited for him in the car and that was the last time he had talked with the younger. 

Jongin promised him a video call later that night and Kyungsoo nearly fell asleep waiting for it. The time zone difference sucks, anyway. But it was worth it when Jongin’s face finally appeared on the screen. 

Kyungsoo wonders too if Jongin knows he also tuned in to his Insta live while he was there and watched them. He is not ashamed to say that the video calls he had with Jongin at night weren’t enough. “ _I missed you,_ ” Jongin had said to the eager fans that were watching him but Kyungsoo wanted to believe it was directed to him instead. 

Kyungsoo could not stop the stupid grin on his face. 

Honestly, all he looks forward to every day when he wakes up is a warming message from the younger and if Jongin wasn’t attending to anything, he got a call from him and they would be talking for hours. Kyungsoo could see he was tired from the way his eyes were red from the lack of sleep but Jongin always had a way to make his stories interesting, cracking a joke here and there to fight off his sleepiness. Kyungsoo on the hand just listened to him intently.

The video call at least made Kyungsoo felt less lonely but it still wasn’t enough.

It just fueled his craving for the younger’s presence. And it's not helping that he watched Jongin’s magazine photoshoot video that came up yesterday. He swears his heart dropped as he stared at the screen, admiring and ogling his boyfriend’s sculpted half-naked body and close up pictures of his pretty face. 

Jongin’s plush lips that look extra soft and inviting and the way his eyes looked mesmerizing as he stared into the camera, capturing every soul that was looking at him with his charming gaze, Kyungsoo included. 

Kyungsoo has seen Jongin in his ugliest state possible -- unshaven face, the drool stain near his lips and boogers still in his eyes every morning and sometimes he didn’t feel the flame anymore when he looks at the younger because he is used to seeing him yet when he sees the perfectly groomed Jongin, looking all cool and slick, he is reminded that Jongin is really blessed with beautiful face. 

Kyungsoo once again wonders if he is that lucky to be able to call this man his. 

“Kyungsoo, you want to eat some more?” Kwangsoo nudges him with his mouth full of meat. 

“No. I’m already full,” Kyungsoo replies. Jongin called him this evening saying he had arrived safely at the airport. Kyungsoo wished he could leave as soon as possible but since today is Insung’s birthday party, he has no choice but to wait for a little bit out of respect since there are so many people trying to engage a conversation with him. He would have cared if it is another time but right now on his mind is only filled with Jongin. 

Kyungsoo glances at the time. It’s still early in the night and the party is still alive. People are chattering happily and laughter echoes in the room, seeming not to die anytime soon.

It doesn’t occur to him that time passed by so quickly. Jongin must have been waiting for him at home. Kyungsoo sends him a message a few minutes ago telling him he would be home sooner but Jongin hasn’t replied yet. 

Kyungsoo takes the last sip of his beer before making his way to the elder. There is nothing he could be doing right now. He has talked to almost all the people there, anyway.

“Oh Jongin’s back?” Insung asks. He checks his watch briefly.

“Yeah, he had landed this evening,” Kyungsoo gives him a small smile.

“You better catch up to him. I bet you missed him so much,” Kyungsoo blushes as Insung pats him on his shoulder. The elder has known so much about Jongin from Kyungsoo that he doesn’t inquire further when it comes to him. He has probably sensed the excitement.

He bids the hyungs goodbye before he runs eagerly to his waiting manager in the car.

* * *

The moment the door clicks open, Jongin’s strewn leather shoes at the front door greet his sight.

“I’m home,” Kyungsoo says. He takes the shoes and arranges the shoes back on the rack carefully before walking further inside. There he sees his Gucci bag on the coffee table, his usual green beanie and a few shopping bags placed on the sofa. 

Jongin is finally home. 

It’s weird how just without Jongin for the past weeks he felt helplessly lonely but now Jongin makes him feel truly at home again. 

The whole house is dark, saved from the light coming from the kitchen that Jongin probably had switched on before. 

Kyungsoo is fucking nervous, his thoughts are scattered, knowing his boyfriend is only a room away from him. It doesn’t help either that with every breath he takes to calm his heart, it seems to beat more erratically.

Honestly, he wonders how Jongin is still capable of doing this to his heart - like he is 17 all over again, like when his heart leaped excitedly in his chest for having shared his first kiss with Jongin. It isn’t like they hadn’t been face-timing and sending cute selfies all this time when they were away from each other but Kyungsoo guesses, nothing beats of that meeting your partner in the flesh after the long weeks. 

He can’t wait to listen to everything Jongin wants to tell him and looking at some of the weird, “aesthetic” pictures that Jongin had taken during his trip. 

Kyungsoo takes off his cap and slowly makes his way to their shared bedroom. He probably looks stupid right now with the dumb smile plastered on his face and from the way his legs are trembling from the nervousness. He doesn’t care how he looks. He is a fool for Jongin, anyways.

In the car just now, it had hit him that he missed Jongin so much that he couldn’t wait to see him. It may be too sudden but he can no longer restrain this pent up emotion.

He twists the knob and pushes the door open.

“Jongin!” Kyungsoo calls, his voice coming out rather squeaky but then his eyes fall to the half-naked figure lying on the bed, snoring to his heart content. 

Kyungsoo’s excitement dies down in an instant. 

Jongin is sleeping. No wonder it was surprisingly quiet just now. 

It’s also unlike Jongin to be sleeping at this hour since he is so energetic even from hours of flight, having used to the jet-lagged and all that. That should not make him feel disheartened because it’s understandable that Jongin is asleep. He knows how the exhaustion feels like. 

Kyungsoo now has to forgo his intention to jump his boyfriend a while ago.

Kyungsoo pouts in dismay. Whatever then. 

With a heavy heart, Kyungsoo steps inside quietly and peeks over his sleeping boyfriend. Jongin looks peacefully asleep. His limbs are stretched all over the bed, leaving only a little space for Kyungsoo to jump beside. Then, he is back to snoring, unaware of Kyungsoo’s presence.

He hears Jongin groans a little and turns around, his back now facing Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo puts down his phone and wallet on the bedside table carefully and makes a quick move to remove his shirt and pants and sprints to the toilet.

He spends a few minutes in the toilet as quickly as he can to prepare himself for the bed and by the time he is done -- already in his boxer shorts and in his boring thin black t-shirt, his phone pings, rather loudly in the quiet room. Kyungsoo hisses and quickly turns to see if Jongin is disturbed by the noise. 

The pings don’t stop for once though. Must be something from his group chat.

Kyungsoo whispers out a curse and quickly walks over to the bedside table and shuts the incoming notifications off.

40+ new pictures from Kwangsoo. He can check that later on.

“Hyung,” A raspy voice calls him from the side, surprising Kyungsoo a little. Kyungsoo’s heart makes that little jump again at the voice he has missed so much.

Kyungsoo drifts his eyes to Jongin. His boyfriend only has his sleep-lidded eyes peeking out from under the blanket he has covered himself with. His soft bangs fluttered as he blinks sleepily at Kyungsoo. 

“Did I wake you up? Go to sleep back,” Kyungsoo says, pretending to sound normal which ironically, his heart isn’t doing the same too. If his voice sounds a little shaky albeit from how much control he tries to put in, Jongin probably won’t notice it. He is still sleepy. 

“Come here,” 

Kyungsoo doesn’t have the chance to put down his phone back on the table before Jongin scoots closer and reaches out for his hand and gently pulls him. Kyungsoo mutters for him to wait so he can look at his phone for the last time. He quickly shuts them off as Jongin keeps pulling him near. Jongin shifts a little on the bed to make space for him.

“Go to sleep,” Kyungsoo whispers gently.

Jongin blinks at him. Once, twice. 

And he does as he told. He yawns once before covering his eyes with his arm. The warmth on Kyungsoo’s hand is gone as quick as it came. 

Kyungsoo still hasn’t lied down yet as he stares at the person beside him. Kyungsoo’s mouth unintentionally forms a small pout again. 

So Jongin pulls him in just to sleep back? His mind keeps nagging inside.

Kyungsoo doesn’t know why his mood suddenly goes dampen over this. A little childish for him that usually is understanding and cool. He is partially angry at himself for thinking so selfishly when Jongin clearly is tired and sleepy. He should’ve understood that. But the other part him simply just wants Jongin to touch him. But he knows how grumpy Jongin can get when it comes to sleeping. He used to have a messed up sleeping disorder before, several times he had insomnia that had him stressed over it but fortunately since he had them fixed, Jongin now appreciates the rest that he could get. 

So the last thing he wants to do is to disturb Jongin’s very much needed sleep. It was bad enough that he did not put his phone on silent. Now that Jongin is half awake, Kyungsoo is worried that Jongin doesn’t get enough rest until tomorrow morning because they still have a few photoshoot and recording needed to be done.

Kyungsoo bites the inside of his lips.

Kyungsoo huffs. He lies down and makes himself comfortable on the bed, pulling the blanket to cover his exposed legs. He tries to close his eyes to sleep but he is still conscious of every toss and turns that Jongin does beside him. It’s hard to be relaxed when you so badly wanted to jump your boyfriend and kiss the life out of him because you deadly missed him.

Jongin is so warm beside him. The familiar scent of his soothes Kyungsoo a little, nonetheless. So he eases his mind and tries to sleep.

Soon after, he hears a light snore coming off from Jongin. Kyungsoo peeks over him and sees Jongin is already asleep again. 

Kyungsoo spends a little while staring at the white ceiling, then peeks over at his snoring boyfriend, then goes back at to stare at the ceiling. 

He blinks his eyes, suddenly getting drowsy too the longer he tries to keep his eyes open. Looking at how comfortable the younger is sleeping, Kyungsoo can’t fight the exhaustion anymore. He rolls around with his back facing Jongin. He closes his eyes and lets his mind slowly shuts down and snuggles comfortably on his pillow.

That is, until Jongin’s strong hand engulfs his waist, pulling Kyungsoo closer to his chest that he is jolted awake again.

Kyungsoo inhales sharply, visibly flinched from the sudden contact. Jongin traps Kyungsoo’s left leg with his and Jongin's arm around his stomach tightens. Kyungsoo says nothing, now that he is too drowsy to react so he just lets Jongin cuddles him close. Jongin’s warm breath keeps fanning the back of his ear and nape.

As comforting as it looks, his skin grows hotter because of the way they were trapped so close to each other like this. Kyungsoo feels his nape is getting sweaty so he pushes Jongin slightly away from his back with his bottom. Jongin moves away from him a little but only gives Kyungsoo a little space to turn around and face his chest. 

Barely seconds passed before Jongin scoots closer to him again and puts his arm around Kyungsoo’s waist. 

“Jongin, it’s hot,” Kyungsoo complains. Maybe he would appreciate it a while ago but now he is too damn sleepy. He is seconds from falling asleep though, so it makes him a little grumpy. He pushes Jongin’s chest away a little. His skin needs to breathe for a while.

“Hmm,” Jongin kisses his hair. Kyungsoo doesn’t know whether he’s too stubborn to mind Kyungsoo’s complain or it’s his sleepiness induced brain doing.

“You don’t want...don’t want me to touch you?” Jongin mumbles incoherently. 

“No,” 

“Okay,” Jongin scoots away but before he manages to remove his arm, Kyungsoo stops his movement. 

“No, I mean cuddle me,” Kyungsoo mumbles back. A yawn escaping his mouth. “Switch on the aircon. I feel hot,” Kyungsoo does not know what they are talking about right now. 

He hears Jongin turns around and his palm hitting the bedside table multiple times to find the remote and also the sound of something falling to the floor along the way. Then, he hears the air conditioner is turned on. 

Jongin turns around again afterwards and quickly catches Kyungsoo in his embrace. This time around, Kyungsoo lets him and somehow his heart feels calm and contented again to be able to feel his body against Jongin after a long time.

Jongin is the best cuddler and he is not going to complain again.

“I love you,” Jongin mumbles and not long after that, he snores back.

Kyungsoo smiles.

“Love you too,”

* * *

Kyungsoo should've known something was wrong with Jongin.

Jongin slept early than usual, not replying to his text and now this.

He doesn’t think he has been asleep that much when his ear suddenly catches Jongin taking a sharp gasp of breath from his back. The sound makes Kyungsoo flutters his eyes open instantly. They are still stuck close to each other with Jongin’s chest covering his back. 

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo pushes his upper body up a little to take a peek behind him but Jongin still stays clinging to his back, restricting his movement a little.

“Nothing Hyung,” Jongin breathes out heavily once before he goes back to snuggle deeply, burying his nose into Kyungsoo’s nape. Kyungsoo furrows his eyebrows. He still is very sleepy and tired right now so he goes back to lie down, although his heart feels restless from the way Jongin holds onto him rather tightly. 

Until he feels the back of his neck is wet and...

A sniff?

“Jongin,” This time Kyungsoo grips Jongin’s arm and pushes him away from his suffocating back hug. He turns around and Jongin relents when Kyungsoo cradles his face. He isn’t crying, just a lone tear wetting his cheek that is almost drying on his skin. Kyungsoo knows something was hitting him just now in his sleep. It must be a nightmare kicking in again. 

“What’s wrong?” Kyungsoo asks. Jongin just shakes his head and quickly wipes his cheek. 

“Tell me please,” Kyungsoo is too tired to be stern right now so he just gently pats Jongin on his arm and squeezes it.

“Um, nothing. Hyung, let’s sleep back, please. I wanna hold you,” Jongin insists. Kyungsoo heaves out a tiny sigh.

There he goes again. Jongin always says something like he is fine, oh nothing is bothering me, Hyung but his face says otherwise. But Kyungsoo is not having any of it. He knows Jongin’s the type to keep things to himself but he seems to forget Kyungsoo can see through him despite his attempt to avoid from telling the truth. It was crystal clear that something is not right.

“Were you having a bad dream just now?” Kyungsoo tries again.

Jongin just nods shortly. 

Kyungsoo bites the inside of his cheek.

“You want to tell me later?” Kyungsoo whispers. Jongin nods once. "Promise," Jongin says back. Kyungsoo has learned from all these years living with the younger, that there is no used to budge him when he’s not in the mood to talk. Kyungsoo is like that too, sometimes. At the beginning of their relationship, they used to have some misunderstanding and a little fight ensued afterwards because of that but it comes naturally to both of them over the years to let the other feel at ease and let them open up when they are ready and they have been keeping it that way until now. It doesn't matter to them when, as long as they don't hide anything from each other.

Jongin’s face still looks weary, with his dark circles and bleary eyes. The exhaustion probably did something to his mind.

Kyungsoo slumps down again, taking the blanket and draping it over them both. Jongin closes his eyes again tiredly. The temperature in their room is getting colder because of the air conditioner so Kyungsoo turns around and cuddles close to Jongin. He feels Jongin takes a deep inhale of his hair and resumes his hold around Kyungsoo’s waist and Kyungsoo just lets him until they both fall asleep again. 

When he wakes up the next morning, he sees Jongin is already awake, arms perched on the bed while playing with his phone next to Kyungsoo. Their eyes meet, and Jongin throws a hearty smile to his way. 

Kyungsoo squints his eyes. His astigmatism is still shitty and Jongin’s smile is blinding too.

“Good morning, pretty,” Jongin whispers cutely. The new endearment Jongin loves to call him lately. It isn’t really necessary though at this moment for he is sure his face is swollen right now.

“What time is it?” Kyungsoo croaks, feeling addled.

“9 am,” 

“Huh? Oh,” Kyungsoo closes his eyes again and lets out a yawn. It is still early in the morning and he only has a few more hours before he will be up for work. He is still very much exhausted from lack of sleep. Jongin probably has gotten an amount of sleep he needs so that explains why he is up and fresh by now.

Kyungsoo tries to sleep back until he feels a peck on his cheek, multiple times that he snaps his eyes open back to the grinning man over him.

“What are you doing?” He brushes his cheek where Jongin left his kisses before.

“Kissing you,” Jongin beams playfully.

Kyungsoo tilts his head, feeling confused and still half-awake. “I’m still tired,” He places his arm on his eyes.

“I just checked your text. Sorry for not replying. I was too tired yesterday,” Jongin places a soft kiss on his cheek again and Kyungsoo lets out a tiny smile. His mind wanders to last night when Jongin looked distraught in his sleep but he quickly brushed it away, seeing that Jongin is looking better than he was yesterday. It relieves his heart a little bit.

“You are still sleepy? Go to sleep then,” 

“Hmm,” Kyungsoo mutters a groan and stretches his arms upward. The muscles pop and Kyungsoo hums satisfyingly. He doesn’t feel like sleeping anymore since the surprise morning kiss he had gotten from Jongin on his cheek earlier. 

Kyungsoo blinks, his lips curve slightly to a small, confused smile as he looks at the younger. His palm goes to cradle Jongin’s face, tracing his finger against Jongin’s cheek.

Jongin who has just gone back to look at his phone is surprised by the warm touch on his cheek. He grins even bigger and Kyungsoo can’t help a smile on his face too. Jongin leans into his touch more and hums contentedly. 

They stare at each other’s eyes, just basking in the silence and taking the moment as much as they can. 

“I missed you,” Jongin whispers suddenly, his breath tickling Kyungsoo’s cheek as he leans into his face.

“Me too,” Kyungsoo says. 

“Jongin wait…”

“Hm?” 

Kyungsoo’s fingers trace up to Jongin's face until his index finger reaches his eyes and Jongin yelps in surprise when Kyungsoo plucks away the tiny booger at the corner of his eye. 

“What are you doing Hyung? You surprised me! ” Jongin half-shouts, his chuckles boom in the quiet room. “Is there some more?” Jongin grins as he goes to pluck away some more on both of his eyes. Kyungsoo can’t help giggle from escaping too as he looks at how Jongin squints his eyes and press his finger on his waterline to get rid of the dry mucus. 

His lips quirk, feeling instantly happy that he finally has his _normal morning_ again.

He looks at Jongin again and it comes crashing down on him that Jongin is finally here, all flesh and bone, close to Kyungsoo with his presence warming his side. Jongin has a handsome grin adorning his face, all half-naked with his wild, messy bed hair that sticks up everywhere, barefaced with swollen eyes, lips puffy and face unshaven. The way Jongin’s eyes crinkled and shimmer, as he looks down at Kyungsoo, makes his body buzzing with excitement again. All the headache from the sleepless night seems to leach out from his head.

Not everyone has the privilege to see this Jongin and he is indeed the luckiest man ever.

“I missed you too,” Kyungsoo smiles.

Jongin stops laughing and Kyungsoo’s eyes follow how Jongin’s eyes settle down on to his lips. An impish grin now on his face.

“My breath is smelly,” Kyungsoo warns.

“I know,” Jongin says softly, his eyes are still on his lips. He smooths his thumb across Kyungsoo’s morning puffy lips. 

He does not wait for long before his lips settle on Kyungsoo’s, edging the elder’s bottom lip with his. Taken aback, Kyungsoo punches Jongin’s chest weakly to push him away but Jongin doesn’t budge.

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo giggles but Jongin does not care. He goes down again for Kyungsoo’s lips again and pecks them, rendering Kyungsoo utterless beneath him. 

“Jongin, stop,” Kyungsoo lets out a small laugh again. Jongin just hums, not minding how Kyungsoo tries to squirm his way out of Jongin. But that’s not the case anymore when Kyungsoo immediately stops and lets out a shuddering breath when Jongin bites down on his lower lip. His fingers delve into Jongin’s hair, which makes Jongin eagerly moves his lips against Kyungsoo’s. Kyungsoo kisses him back with more force, mouth parted for Jongin to delve his tongue into.

Fuck the morning breath.

They kiss and kiss until Kyungsoo has to part his lips momentarily to let them catch their breath. Jongin continues to edge his lips around his jaw and trails them to the side of his neck, peppering them with wet kisses. Jongin pushes himself hard against Kyungsoo, trapping Kyungsoo’s legs with his lower body and his right arm is around Kyungsoo’s waist, pulling him as close to him as possible. Kyungsoo kisses Jongin’s ear and nibbles on them a little. Jongin moans hard against his ear.

“Are we going to do this?” 

It is quite uncomfortable that his face looks puffy and his breath is smelly as well. But looking at how the younger’s breath has gone ragged and heavy on top of him and his whole face flushed from their rough make out just now, Kyungsoo can’t help but feel excited as well. 

“I’m..already hard,” Jongin breathes out. He slumps his head on Kyungsoo’s shoulder and shakily rubs his hard-on over Kyungsoo’s thighs. Kyungsoo’s heart is hammering in his chest, his breath is out of control too. His hands are roaming everywhere on Jongin’s naked back, feeling his tensed muscles underneath his fingertips. Then, his hand slowly heads down in between their body and wraps a shaky hand around Jongin’s bulge through his brief. He can feel how it keeps getting bigger the more he continuously tugging on it.

Jongin snaps his hips forward when Kyungsoo adds more pressure to it. His fingers work faster and Jongin pants harsher against his skin. 

The younger eventually pushes Kyungsoo’s hand away after a while because he doesn’t think he wants to come from a handjob alone. So his own hands go downwards to firmly hold Kyungsoo’s bottom and squeeze them. Kyungsoo mewls when Jongin’s palms circle his ass cheeks and lightly pinching the fat. Jongin scrambles for Kyungsoo’s lips again and Kyungsoo fervently kisses him back.

Their hands are getting impatient on each other’s skin, roaming, touching and groping the bare skin trying to feel each other as much as possible.

“I saw your video,” Kyungsoo pants, breaking away their kisses.

“Which video?” Jongin lets out a groan when Kyungsoo’s nails dig into his hips.

“From Vogue. You looked so handsome,” Kyungsoo replies, looking up at Jongin shyly.

“When I saw that, I can’t believe this is all mine,” Kyungsoo continues. He doesn’t know why he is blabbering so much but his mind is too hazy to think coherently and his mouth can’t stop smooching Jongin’s neck, feeling them over and over again on his lips. He grazes his finger from Jongin’s throat down to his torso, the feather light touch burns Jongin skin. “This-”, Jongin’s stomach tensed up as Kyungsoo traces his fingers down across his abs. “And this,” Kyungsoo’s finger moves to Jongin’s dry bottom lip. 

“Is all mine,” 

Jongin smirks. He is near to combust from the arousal from how painfully hard he is and now Kyungsoo is teasing him like this.

“I’m happily yours. Always,” Jongin says and kisses him again. He slowly slides his palm underneath Kyungsoo’s shirt and traces Kyungsoo’s soft tummy with his finger. Kyungsoo flinches from the touch and his skin grows hotter as Jongin’s fingers skirt upwards to the chest. Jongin’s other hand fiddles with his pants, hooking his finger into the waistband and lightly grazes his nail over his skin. Jongin slowly pulls down his boxer shorts but Kyungsoo grabs his hand, stopping his movement. 

“I’m not prepared yet..” Kyungsoo whispers.

“Oh.” Jongin releases his hold on the material. “So you-”

“But we can take it slow,” Kyungsoo cuts in. He caresses Jongin’s cheek, giving him silent reassurance. “I’ve missed you so much,” He crashes his lips onto Jongin’s again. 

“Me too,” Jongin breaks the kiss and kisses the corner of Kyungsoo’s lips before he proceeds to pull Kyungsoo’s boxer all down, leaving Kyungsoo bare in front of him. Jongin’s eyes raked all over Kyungsoo’s form, taking every inch of Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo squirms shyly when Jongin stares too long at lower ass, admiring his perky ass and the erection between his legs. 

But Jongin’s focus seems to go to the one specific part of Kyungsoo that he loves the most and the way Jongin gropes hardly on the flesh skin just emphasizes his eagerness even more.

“Your ass is getting plumper, Hyung. Did you work out when I was gone?” Jongin teasingly gives his right ass cheek a squeeze, loving how it feels against Jongin’s palm perfectly. 

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo flushed red. He hates it when Jongin mentions something about his ass because not that he is angry at the younger about that but he gets flustered when Jongin pays attention to them. And when he is flustered, he goes all awkward trying to suppress himself from blushing.

Jongin is still staring, the bedroom eyes make Kyungsoo lightly pushes his chest so Jongin will tear his gaze away. He has this urge to cover his exposed legs but his legs effectively got trapped with Jongin in between so he just lies there, waiting for Jongin to do something. Anything since Kyungsoo is sure his cheeks were burning with how fiery Jongin’s stare is on him right now.

“It keeps getting bigger. I think it was plumper from the last time I saw you,” Jongin edges him again and this time Kyungsoo slaps his arm in embarrassment. His boyfriend always knows how to make him flustered and Kyungsoo really hates him for that.

“Yeah. I know you love it,” Kyungsoo mischievously replies since Jongin won’t stop talking about it anytime soon and he is embarrassed right now. He shyly looks up at Jongin to see Jongin’s burning gaze still fixed on him.

“Of course baby. You look sexy this way,” Jongin says. His mouth moves down to Kyungsoo’s chest and the elder lets out a shrieking moan when Jongin latches on one of the nipples into his mouth, biting them at first. The nubs get hard easily and he can feel Jongin smiles against his sensitive skin. 

Kyungsoo’s whole body goes rigid when Jongin starts to lap over it and he lets out a breathy moan when Jongin lifts his upper body a little so he can start to suck on the sensitive nub. 

“Mhm,” Kyungsoo tugs on Jongin’s hair, prompting Jongin to move further. His stomach is burning and twisting right now with how much the tension keeps building up. Jongin moves lower to his tummy, placing wet kisses over it. Honestly, it is Jongin’s most favorite part of Kyungsoo that he loves to give attention to after his peachy ass. It was something Kyungsoo wasn’t proud of before, having ridiculed and made fun of how this part of him is soft, of how he has the worst body in the group, as said by the members jokingly but it made him insecure. It irked Kyungsoo before but the thought of it no longer bothers him since Jongin himself has assured him that he loves it so much and it shows whenever they are in private where Jongin will caress it anytime he likes. 

He goes down to Kyungsoo’s hips. He sucks harder over it and Kyungsoo cannot help from thrusting his hips upward at the sensation. Jongin literally has to push him down harder so Kyungsoo will not move too much. He cries out a sob and just helplessly tugs at Jongin’s hair when Jongin goes down to place a bite on his love handles.

“Please. Jongin please,” 

So in the end, Kyungsoo can’t help but plead for the younger. Jongin has that teasing smile again on his face and Kyungsoo absolutely _hates_ it again because Jongin always know how to tease him like this.

Jongin ignores his pleas. Instead, his hot breath then trails to Kyungsoo’s pubic and blows a soft air to the patch of hair. His cock is standing erect down there, begging to be touched and Jongin is painfully slow. So Kyungsoo moves his palm and shakily wraps his hand around it but Jongin pushes his hand away, trapping them beside his head. 

“No touching yourself,” Jongin mutters to his ear.

“Then, faster, please. I can’t hold myself anymore,” Kyungsoo whimpers.

Jongin stops what he is doing but not just yet. 

“Turn around,” He demands and Kyungsoo complies pliantly. Jongin doesn’t wait for Kyungsoo before he spreads the cheeks open and lowers his tongue down on the inviting hole.

Kyungsoo squirms and lifts his bottom even higher which makes Jongin’s tongue delves deeper into his ass. Has he been so sensitive like this before?

“Hyung, don’t move,” Jongin says, maybe half annoyed that Kyungsoo’s legs keep thrashing around. He grabs Kyungsoo’s hips to anchor Kyungsoo’s legs down. Kyungsoo mumbles incoherently into the mattress. He can’t help but push his bottom more eagerly to Jongin’s hungry mouth.

It should be him satisfying Jongin since he has promised himself to take care of the younger as soon as Jongin was home since yesterday. He should do all the work beforehand but the way Jongin is so focused on pleasuring him makes him overwhelmed inside. Jongin is too good for him and Kyungsoo feels like crying from the affection.

He makes grabby hands as to stop the younger from behind but as Jongin sucks even harder, Kyungsoo just lets out a soft grunt, his both hands can only helplessly clasping his pillow instead. Jongin slurps one last time and gives a final smooch his ass, particularly on the Kyungsoo’s large mole on his left cheek before he stands up and quickly discards his pants down to the floor. 

Kyungsoo just lies there on the bed. He can’t will his body to move around any longer, not finding enough strength to move his lower body. Through blurry eyes, he sees Jongin walks to their drawer and retrieves a small box of condom and lube. 

He just closes his eyes, burying his face in his pillow. He hears Jongin tearing up the packet and squeezing the liquid out over his palm.

“Hyung, I’m going for it,” Jongin’s raspily says. 

Jongin kisses his nape and shoulders while he naturally eases two fingers into Kyungsoo’s tight hole, scissoring them open slowly just right just the way Kyungsoo likes. Kyungsoo grunts as Jongin pushes them deeper. 

“Does it hurt?” Jongin whispers to his ear. Kyungsoo nods. “A little. It’s been a while,” 

“Sorry Hyung. I’ll go slow,” 

“Jongin, more,” Kyungsoo ignores the pain. 

Jongin inserts one more finger and gently works his fingers inside Kyungsoo, probing and pushing them deeper. He kisses Kyungsoo’s nape over and over again and Kyungsoo whines when Jongin finally hits the spot inside of him sweetly.

“Jongin! Th-there,” Kyungsoo grabs helplessly on Jongin’s wrist to guide his hand. 

“Here?” Jongin crooks his finger. Kyungsoo lets out a soft scream. 

“Yeah..yeah,” 

Jongin does it again and the elder lets out a breathy moan when Jongin twists his finger again inside to the same spot. 

Kyungsoo doesn’t know when Jongin has stopped because he is too dazed with pleasure. He flinches when he feels Jongin’s lubed hands are on his butt again and his body shakes a little when Jongin slowly enters him. Kyungsoo groans from the intrusion, his hole clenched tightly as Jongin pushes the head deeper.

“Are you okay? Relax Hyung,” Jongin smooches his ear. Kyungsoo merely nods. 

“I-I can’t,” 

“Slowly Hyung. Slowly,” Jongin smothers his nape with kisses again.

“Jongin, I want to see your face, please,” Kyungsoo closes his eyes tiredly. Jongin complies. He figures Jongin has known about this, that he loves when Jongin is as close to him as possible when they are making love. He loves to bury his nose in Jongin’s neck and hold onto his arms tightly. 

God… he is clingy. There’s no use of denying that anymore.

Jongin pulls out for a while and quickly holds Kyungsoo’s waist and turns the elder over to lie on his back. Kyungsoo whines when Jongin grabs his full thighs, massaging and caressing them as he eases himself inside Kyungsoo again, slowly pushing in until he bottoms out. His breath stutters when Jongin starts to thrust his hips, starting out lazily and then going deeper and faster inside him that has a long and whiny ah coming out from Kyungsoo.

In return, Kyungsoo massages his nape, the place where he knows Jongin is sensitive enough and loves to be touched when they are making love. Kyungsoo’s fingers lightly pinch his nape again, occasionally cards his fingers upward through Jongin’s hair. Jongin thrusts even harder and the younger let out a whimper, helplessly throwing his head on Kyungsoo’s shoulder.

“I love seeing how your ass keeps bouncing whenever I fuck your rough,” Jongin teases despite his ragged breathing, a smug grin on his face. Kyungsoo smacks his arm and glares shyly to him. Jongin just chuckles. He doesn’t hate it when Jongin dirty talks with him but once again it is his problem that he feels extremely flustered by it. He feels the heat searing through his cheeks whenever Jongin does that.

Kyungsoo crosses his arms over Jongin’s neck, holding him closer as Jongin speeds up his pace. His back arches, meeting the younger’s thrust eagerly. It doesn’t help that Kyungsoo’s inside keeps clenching and sucking him in so nicely that Jongin’s hips go frenzy, filling as much of him inside the elder. It seems like forever -- the grunts and moans keep spilling out of their mouth, Jongin’s warm breath ghosts over his skin and Kyungsoo sobs filling the room. 

After a few more thrusts, Jongin comes into the condom with Kyungsoo following suit, dirtying Jongin’s stomach a little. They stay attached for a while until Jongin slowly eases himself out, earning a little groan from Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo breaths harder, his hole is still clenching from the sudden loss of warmth.

He quickly discards the stained condom and grabs a tissue to wipe them both over. Then, he goes back to drop himself over Kyungsoo, feeling a little clingy than usual. Kyungsoo lets him. He hates sweat clinging to his skin and his lower body feels sticky as well but he feels like hugging Jongin is the nicest thing to do now.

Maybe it’s because of the days they were apart, or the longing for each other’s warmth that none of them move an inch from each other. They stay that way for a little while, hugging each other with Jongin still in between Kyungsoo’s legs and Kyungsoo’s warm breath kisses Jongin’s ear lightly.

Minutes passed and they are still skin to skin, just both of them trying to regain their breath. Kyungsoo snuggles deeply, growing sleepy all of a sudden but he is still uncomfortable with his sticky body. Jongin just rests his head on Kyungsoo’s chest, relishing in the warmth.

  
"Jongin," 

Jongin hums. 

"What happened yesterday in your sleep? You didn't look good. I am just worried about you.. you know," Kyungsoo caresses his back.

Jongin is silent for a little while before he drifts his gaze back to Kyungsoo.

“Just a nightmare. ” Jongin says. Kyungsoo waits before Jongin continues, "You left me,"

That caught Kyungsoo by surprise. The unexpected shift of mood leaves Kyungsoo speechless for a while. 

“Me?” Kyungsoo whispers.

He caresses Jongin’s cheek, tenderly brushing the falling strand of hair covering his forehead. Jongin usually never bothers talking about what has been bothering his sleep because he is the type to let it slide because the younger always says it was just a dream. 

“You know it was just a dream. You were just tired Jongin,” Kyungsoo flicks his forehead playfully.

“Yeah, I know. I am just saying that the dream felt so vivid. Like you were beside me and after that, you’re gone. I didn’t remember what happened but I was somewhere dark and you were not there. It feels sick to think about it because I felt lost. So lost,”

They grow quiet again after Jongin muttered the last word.

Kyungsoo bites his lips. 

  
"I think maybe I've been away from you that long so I was overthinking until it was brought to sleep," Jongin lets out a light chuckle. Somehow, Kyungsoo feels guilty that he had brought this up since their mood was wonderful just now and maybe he has ruined it a little.

“I would never leave you. Even if I do one day, you know I am always here right,” Kyungsoo puts his palm on Jongin’s left chest, feeling where his heart beats erratically in his chest. 

“You will leave me?” Jongin semi-pouts. Kyungsoo flicks Jongin's forehead. 

“No silly. Not like that. I mean..of course one day I’m gonna die and I have to leave you. It’s inevitable, right?” Kyungsoo lets a light chuckle, a glint of teasing tone in his words. He just wants to joke around but the way Jongin keeps silent does not settle quite right for Kyungsoo in the end.

Kyungsoo is never the one good with words, unlike Jongin. He just says what is on his mind. He is sometimes afraid that his words do not sound convincing enough to comfort Jongin but he knows the younger knows he meant it by heart.

Okay, maybe it’s not really a good idea to talk about this in a morning like this.

“It’s just that I want you to remember I’ll be here in your heart,” Kyungsoo continues reassuringly.

It might cringe himself out at other times because it is so unlike them to be this sappy as they grow older because they know they don't have to voice it out to affirm their love. But it can’t be helped that in a morning like this, soft and quiet, just the two of them in the safe comfort of their room and in each other's presence, it just makes the two of them more vulnerable, letting their guards down and bare their souls to each other.

Deep down in his heart, now that the words are weighing down on him, Kyungsoo feels weird all of a sudden. They never have this kind of talk before, about separation and death. It’s easier not to think about this as they always see each other, have grown used to each other’s presence and the fast pace of their lives make this kind of thought hardly crosses their minds as much. Now that his mind is reeling over that, Kyungsoo feels scared.

He thinks it’s the what-if, the question of what will going to happen later that scares him the most when he’s gone or any of them is gone.

What if Jongin will not be okay? What will he be feeling when he is gone?

What he will do without Jongin?

The overthinking makes Jongin holds onto Kyungsoo even tighter and Kyungsoo warmly returning the gesture. They are still stuck like that, with Jongin crashing his upper body on Kyungsoo’s chest and burying his nose in the crook of Kyungsoo’s neck. 

“It’s okay Jongin. I’m not going anywhere,” Kyungsoo whispers, patting Jongin’s back soothingly. Jongin hums. Jongin kisses his neck before he pushes himself up, letting his arms dig into Kyungsoo’s sides but he does not say anything.

“You said to me many times before. Isn’t what matters-”, Kyungsoo pauses before continuing, “is right now?” He smoothes away Jongin’s bed hair that is still wildly sticking out. They look at each other’s eyes. Jongin never forgets to remind him of that whenever Kyungsoo is reminded of his past trauma and regrets that he has yet to let go.

Jongin bites his lower lip, contemplating that for a while. “You’re right, Hyung,” He places a tender kiss on Kyungsoo’s lips. The kiss is languid, just both of them savoring the way their lips move against each other. 

“You know I really really really love you right?” Kyungsoo says. It's very cheesy to say this out loud but he never feels ashamed to say this when he meant it for Jongin only to know, within the safety of their private. 

“I know. I love you too,” 

Jongin’s phone rings suddenly, surprising them both. Jongin groans.

Jongin pushes himself up a little and reaches for his phone on the table. Kyungsoo doesn’t hear what Jongin says next to the phone, as Jongin’s words just now keep replaying in his head. 

“Hyung. Hyung,” Jongin’s voice jolts him awake from his thoughts.

“Hm?”

“Let’s get ready. The rest of the members are in the studio now,” Jongin starts to get up. Kyungsoo watches as the younger walks up to retrieve his towel and saunters to the toilet. 

Another busy day awaiting them. Nothing new. 

Jongin’s head appears again after a second from the bathroom’s door when he finds Kyungsoo doesn’t budge from the bed just yet. 

“Hyungg.” He half whines. Kyungsoo smiles. “What are you doing? Let’s shower together,” Jongin walks to him and Kyungsoo screams when Jongin lifts him up and throws him over his shoulder.

“Okay okay put me down!!” 

Kyungsoo thinks about this a lot. The time with his loved ones, Kyungsoo thinks it’s always the precious one for him, and with Jongin is the one he treasures the most. It worried him a lot back then thinking, how they would have to survive in this relationship, knowing the nature of their job.

And despite all that, he thinks it’s a matter of how they want to make the time they have with each other to be the best they could have, be it in the privacy of their home or even under the scrutiny of the public eyes.

Over the years, Kyungsoo realizes Jongin is someone he will risk his life with. And he wants to die happily thinking he has spent his life beautifully with this man. Despite the things they have or will have to go through. He realizes again that it does not matter how long they spend it together, even for a short while or far from each other for a week or a year even, or if he is fated to die tomorrow and they only have today. Those don't matter to him because the most important thing is, how they will make the time they have to feel like theirs.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! kudos and comments are greatly appreciated ;;


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